Intention
Regarding Intention
Almost every day I have some intense experience that I feel a need to write about. It’s as if so many informational streams passing through history- including the moment that has become my own life- converge in an instant and stretch my eyelids open just a little bit wider. And I’m left, walking- or pedaling, as the case may be- around with words swelling up in my throat and welling out of my ears and my eyes are so wide open, my retinas have begun to protest and now I’m wearing sunglasses when I’m outside in the daylight. After all of this emotellectuysical response to the instantaneous view I have glimpsed of a piece of the x, y, z, and t of the web in which we are all caught, I get home and I’m . . . tired. Or distracted.
And maybe the observations become brief, hand-written journal entries. More often they become background. Internal monologues that will never be shared. This may be acceptable in most circumstances, but I’m finding it unacceptable, lately.
Because the only reason I’m here is to further understanding. Yes, I build things sometimes and I educate young people sometimes and I plant a garden and I comfort and I love. I value all of these things. But when I’m dead (and I think about death A LOT) and the people around me are dead, most of that will be gone. I want to create lasting understanding. And I could die at any moment. What have I been waiting for?
So I’m committing to taking the time to document the connections I see and posting my observations publicly. I’m a witness to the planet and the people and the systems between and amongst all beings, both biological and machine and combinations thereof. To where my observations will lead me (and you- us?), I don’t know. Instead of trying to retroactively document the connections that have been borne out in my brief life’s experience, I’ll start from today. I’m sure old observations will resurface and finagle themselves into the text.
Regarding Names
At the same time that I realized that I wanted to publicly document the connections I witness, I wanted to also document the process of starting a pedicab business in Los Angeles. The juxtaposition of documenting the deep connections in the universe alongside documenting the pedestrian attempt to start a small business in the big city seemed intriguing to me. Some focus on deep thoughts; some focus on not deep thoughts. Hence, the birth of “Really Deep Thoughts,” and her sister, “Really Shallow Thoughts.”
I chose the specific name “Really Deep Thoughts” as an homage to one of the significant influences of my pre-teen and teen years that helped crack open the shell encasing my sheltered, gendered, privileged, obedient young mind so that it might gawk, wide-eyed, at the world surrounding it before stretching its wings and filling out its own space in the aether. This homage is not an implication of Tori Amos being the most significant influence of my young life. One of her song lyrics just happened to fit my situation. However, she was pretty righteous back in the “god, sometimes you just don’t come through . . . do you need a woman to take care of you?” days. Namaste, Tori! (Yes, the irony here is intentional. Yet the sentiment is not merely a vector for the irony.)
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